History by the Glass

Joe's Cellar | NW Portland I assure you it's actually Joe's Cellar.  Established: 1941 First Drinks: Beam n' Coke (Alfredo)...Rainier tallboy (NPG) Interesting Food:  "Working Man's Special" (biscuits & gravy and coffee for $3 from 7-10 a.m. daily)  NOTE: Didn't order since we were there in the evening, but that is a GREAT sign of a dive bar's quality when they still consider themselves a working man's (or woman's) hangout and price things accordingly.  "AROUSE HER!" Men's Room: 2/5 urinal pucks (just generally run down in a nondescript kinda way...thought-provoking condom machines keep it from being a 1-puck stop) RANDOM ASIDE: What is the DEAL with these condom machines? I'm going to guess they generate about $6 of revenue annually. Who the hell is buying these things? Also, what's with the commanding copy next to the "studded" version -- "AROUSE HER!" So much pressure! A...

Crackerjacks Pub & Eatery | NW Portland Established: 1982 First Drinks: Pacifico -- $3 special (Alfredo), Boneyard IPA (NPG) Interesting Food: Carnival desserts...deep fried Twinkies and the like...and Crackerjacks, of course! NPG and I each ordered a box. While the actual Crackerjacks are still damn good, we were equally dismayed by the horrible app-based "toy" inside. Our kingdoms for the crappy magnifying glass, warped temporary tattoo, and other gems from the old school boxes!  Men's Room: 4/5 urinal pucks...okay, this one was interesting!  Open the narrow door, inch down the slight ramp to enter the pitch black "foyer." Now you're in some kind of messed up Choose Your Own Adventure with separate paths leading two weirdly illuminated doorways. Door one for relief, door No. 2 for washing up, and neither has a ceiling! It's fun! ( Sadly, with no old school plumbing features there's a mandatory puck demerit, preventing a per...

This is part two of the story of the Wankers Corner Saloon...which originally started serving cold ones in 1933 in the Tualatin/Lake Oswego borderlands...before turning into a sorta cheesy-rowdy faux Australian Spuds MacKenzie '80s party bar...then moving lock, stock, and barrel to a generic Wilsonville commercial building in 1997...clearing the way for Corner Saloon (NOT faux Australian, but owned by a Brit and serves giant Fosters Oil Cans) to fill the void back in the original location...two establishments with a perplexingly intertwined history and no love lost for each other...we spent an afternoon in March trying to unravel it all. Wanker's Corner Saloon | Tualatin/Lake Oswego Borderlands Established:  1933 (this one is legit) First Drinks:  Pair of Fosters "Oil Cans" for Nate n' Alfredo (because it's NOT an Australian bar, understand?) Interesting Food: none noted Men's Room: 4/5 urinal pucks...no doorknob, dirty urinal, dual rota...

This is part one of the story of the Wankers Corner Saloon...which originally started serving cold ones in 1933 in the Tualatin/Lake Oswego borderlands...before turning into a sorta cheesy-rowdy faux Australian Spuds MacKenzie '80s party bar...then moving lock, stock, and barrel to a generic Wilsonville commercial building in 1997...clearing the way for Corner Saloon (NOT faux Australian, but owned by a Brit and serves giant Fosters Oil Cans) to fill the void back in the original location...two establishments with a perplexingly intertwined history and no love lost for each other...we spent an afternoon in March trying to unravel it all. Wanker's Corner Saloon | Wilsonville commercial district Established: 1997 (after moving from the original location at the actual Wanker's Corner...the bar still claims to be founded in 1933, but we think you forfeit that when you move to a generic commercial building) First Drinks: Bud Light (Fredo), Coors Banquet (Nate) Inte...