Episode 4 - Part 1/2: Crackerjacks & Joe's Cellar (May 7, 2018)


Crackerjacks Pub & Eatery | NW Portland

Established: 1982


First Drinks: Pacifico -- $3 special (Alfredo), Boneyard IPA (NPG)


Interesting Food: Carnival desserts...deep fried Twinkies and the like...and Crackerjacks, of course! NPG and I each ordered a box. While the actual Crackerjacks are still damn good, we were equally dismayed by the horrible app-based "toy" inside. Our kingdoms for the crappy magnifying glass, warped temporary tattoo, and other gems from the old school boxes! 


Men's Room: 4/5 urinal pucks...okay, this one was interesting! 

Open the narrow door, inch down the slight ramp to enter the pitch black "foyer." Now you're in some kind of messed up Choose Your Own Adventure with separate paths leading two weirdly illuminated doorways. Door one for relief, door No. 2 for washing up, and neither has a ceiling! It's fun! (Sadly, with no old school plumbing features there's a mandatory puck demerit, preventing a perfect score.)

Musings: Crackerjacks had one of the more milquetoast write-ups in Paul Pintarich's second volume of HBTG, but we were excited to head to Northwest to check it out nonetheless. 

Crackerjacks is described as having fallen into disrepair before new ownership righted things. I would've liked to see old disrepaired version just once to judge for myself, but the new joint was worth the visit. It was insta-comfortable the way a neighborhood joint should and also looks like the kind of place John Waters would hang out. Campy decor everywhere. 

We really enjoyed the open kitchen concept. While first seeming superfluous in a tavern-ish joint like this, we soon realized the open kitchen promoted better and more frequent access to the cook's bawdy jokes. You don't get that at Bobby Flay's. 

On the whole Crackerjacks was a heckuva nice, quirky bar (with a sneaky great patio) and welcome presence in the neighborhood. It's a pretty darn good reboot of an old school spot, but it just didn't have the nostalgia or connection to a historic weirdness that we ultimately value most. 



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