Episode 6: Old School Sports Bars at Nick's Famous Coney Island & Claudia's (July 23, 2018)

Nick's Famous Coney Island | SE Portland | Hawthorne

Established: 1935

First Drinks: Pabst Blue Ribbon (Nate), Miller High Life (Fredo)

Interesting Food: Well, there was a delish looking quinoa salad... Whaddyou think?! We were there to eat Coney dogs! 

We woulda been remiss without eating a Coney, but aside from the ambiance, can't say it was memorable in any way. 

Men's Room: 4/5 urinal pucks

I really wanted to give this one a perfect 5-puck score. It was cramped, there was lots of vintage and authentic memorabilia (not generic bric-a-brac)...character out the wazoo...BUT...I couldn't overlook the locking door and somewhat modern, uninteresting fixtures...demerits for each...I'm a hard man to please. 

Musings:

Nick's was THE neighborhood bar and hangout back when all the local residents on Hawthorne were blue collar hard drinking and plain eating types. It was run by a legendary owner/barman (Frank Nudo) who was the reason you went into the place, had tiny windows to keep in the dank, and a spicy Coney sauce recipe that supposedly died with the men who made it. 

SIDE NOTE: This 2013 article about the death of decades-long Nick's cook Herb Chin is one of the best tragic poem micro oral histories of Portland you'll read. 

Nowadays Nick's seems to be managing to hold onto its old school aesthetic (relatively unchanged since the '30s) while doing what it has to to appeal to the contemporary locals, casually dismissed as "terminally trendy" (even in 1996) by Paul Pintarich in our original (and semi-sacred) History by the Glass textbook. (Straight fire by Pintarich btw.)

The Coney dogs were unremarkable (same for the formerly famous mac salad) and music and movies had replaced the legendary din of BS and brilliance that permeated throughout the old hangout. BUT, dammit if Nick's still wasn't a great place to pony up at the old time bar/cafe counter and enjoy a sleepy Monday night. 

The interior is a museum to itself and the colorful stories of this stretch of once-upon-a-time rugged Hawthorne Blvd. It was sincere and warm and the music and movies were damn good too (gotta see the rest of 24-hour Party People btw). A real pleasure. 

Claudia's | SE Portland | Hawthorne

Do we still use those giant satellite dishes to watch TV anymore? 

Established: 1958

First Drinks: Round of JD, rocks

Interesting Food: Still some old school Greek specialties from the original family owners. 

Men's Room: 3.5/5 urinal pucks

I'll admit, I totally booted this review and Claudia deserves better (more on that later). Writing this nearly 2 weeks after our visit and looking at the one photo I took, I remember a surprisingly quirky bathroom experience with the favored double-door airlock entrance and a bizarrely amazing mosaic wall treatment...but not much else. 

Musings: 

Claudia's was, sadly, a victim of its own familiarity. It was the first place we've visited on our tour where both Nathan and I have made frequent appearances at without much regard for its history. It was the end of the night, the non poker playing crowd was sleepy and we were sitting on generic bar stools that only reminded us of the legendary and now deceased captains chairs.  

So we sorta just put it on cruise control, sipping our whiskey non-verbally, while three poker games raged on, making access to the venerable trophy case somewhat awkward. 

And really that's all I really came to see. Claudia's is fantastic. It's old school, but still a vibrant hangout and one of the few actual "sports bars" anywhere near this part of PDX. Anyone who's lived in this town for more than two years will know Claudia's. 

But some folks (like me) might not be quite as aware of the place's storied and phenomenally impressive past as an athletics team sponsor. Claudia's sponsored semi-pro basketball teams that won multiple national titles in the '60s/'70s and had NBA level talent. 

Once that run was over the bar went on to sponsor several hundred killer softball, baseball, volleyball, mushball, billiards, you name it teams that won damn near every '80s/'90s (and beyond) event they entered based on the trophy case in the back of the bar. 

Popular local taverns as team sponsors used to be a lot more prevalent. We'd read about Nick's doing the same and, of course, recalled the epic TV hoops battles between Cheers and Gary's Olde Towne Tavern. Now with fewer people being die hard regulars at sportsy bars, especially during their prime athletic years, you don't see it as much and it's a damn shame. 

Five years ago, I would've stepped over my own mother to play on any team that was wearing The Old Barn jerseys. The dream continues...